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Rate Your Rear View

Use this formula to to determine your derriere’s overall appeal….

This formula was devised by David Holmes, a PhD in psychology from Manchester University in the UK.  His scientific but tongue-in-cheek formula was devised to define the “perfect ass”.  So, dig out the calculator ladies and rate your behind!

Jeans-worthy butt?

REAR RATING = [(S + C) X (B + F) / T] – V

S:  OVERALL SHAPE – rate 1 to 5
      1 = Deflated Beach Ball    
      5 = Volleyball

C:  CHEEK CIRCULARITY – rate 1 to 4
      1 = Croissant                   
      4 = Grapefruit

B:  BOUNCINESS – rate 1 to 5
       1 = Jiggles like Jell-O
       2 = Rebounds like a rubber band

F:  FIRMNESS – rate 1 to 4
      1 = Marshmallow
      4 = Bounce a quarter off it

T:  TEXTURE – rate 4 to 1*
      4 = Crater Island
      1 = Bambino-smooth

V: VERTICAL RATIO – rate 4 to 1*
      4 = Upside-down heart
      1 = Right-side-up heart

* for T and V, 1 is best

If you scored 80, or close to it, your rear view is virtually perfect.  If you scored below 40, get your butt in gear! Restest yourself after a month of doing tomorrow’s post!

“Behind every good man, there is a good woman. And behind every good woman, there’s another man looking at her butt.”